Orlando Sex Therapist on How Often Couples Have Sex and Why Quality Matters More Than Quantity
In our busy, full lives, it's easy to feel pressure—or worry—about how often you're being intimate compared to others. But research shows that the “normal” number of times couples have sex varies greatly depending on life stage, stress, and personal rhythm. What matters most? Connection, satisfaction, and what works best for you as a couple.
As an Orlando sex therapist, I often remind clients that intimacy is about much more than frequency. What matters most is the quality of your connection.
How Often Do Couples Actually Have Sex? Looking at the Data
General averages: Studies suggest couples typically have sex about once a week, or around 50–58 times per year (WebMD, Verywell Health).
By age group: Research compiled by BedBible shows that frequency naturally declines with age:
18–24: ~9 times/month
25–34: ~7 times/month
35–44: ~6 times/month
45–54: ~5 times/month
55–64: ~2 times/month
65+: ~1 time/month or less (BedBible).
Other insights: Surveys find that around 60% of dating couples report sex at least once a week, while 38% say multiple times per week (The Knot).
Why Frequency Varies – and That’s Okay
Life stages affect it: Young couples and newlyweds often have higher frequency. Parenthood, demanding careers, health changes, or caregiving responsibilities can naturally slow things down (Centers for Sexual Medicine).
Stress and routines matter: Long work hours, technology use, and stress can push intimacy down the priority list (Wall Street Journal).
Once-a-week “sweet spot”: Research shows that couples who have sex once per week often report higher levels of happiness and closeness—more frequent sex doesn’t necessarily add more satisfaction (TIME).
What’s More Important Than Frequency
Quality over quantity
It’s not about how often, but how meaningful. A single, connected encounter can feel far more satisfying than frequent, rushed ones (SELF).Life stage context
Intimacy naturally shifts as your life changes—and that’s normal. What’s sustainable in your 20s may look different in your 40s or 60s.Every couple is unique
Comparing yourself to others often creates unnecessary stress. The healthiest approach is asking: Does this feel right for us?Emotional intimacy counts
Vulnerability, laughter, and touch outside of sex strengthen the foundation that makes intimacy feel safe and fulfilling.
Quick Guide: Navigating Intimacy in Busy Lives
Young & Early Stage → Several times per week → Focus on play, connection, fun
With Kids or Careers → Weekly or less → Focus on quality time, date nights, small gestures
Midlife / Perimenopause → Monthly or less → Focus on emotional connection, non-sexual intimacy
Later Life → A few times per year → Focus on affection, companionship, meaningful closeness
Final Thought
If you’ve wondered, “Is this normal?”, the answer is—it depends on what works for you, not them. When intimacy aligns with your mutual needs and life stage, it’s thriving—regardless of the number.
If you and your partner are feeling disconnected, support is available. Through couples counseling Orlando, you can strengthen communication, reduce pressure around intimacy, and rediscover the kind of closeness that feels right for your relationship.
Author Bio:
Tori Ricci is a board certified sex therapist who specializes in helping individuals and couples navigate intimacy and relationship challenges. With a focus on compassion, education, and practical solutions, Tori aims to offer a safe, non-judgmental space for clients to explore and address their sexual health concerns.
